in which some paramedics rescue our heroine (A Leticia P. story)

Hey everyone! It’s been a while since we’ve had an installment of our favorite dishwasher, and her cohorts. If you’re new and don’t know a thing about her, check out the previous episodes, here, here, here, and here, (the order is 3, 1, 2, 4, (just kidding, it’s 1, 2, 3, 4,)).

If you’ve already read every single episode and are just dyyyyyyyyying to know more, then look no further! Leticia to the rescue, or semi-rescue… or whatever it is Leticia does.

Anyway.

On to the story!

Fainting spells are not my thing, the only other time I’d fainted was four years ago when my older brother stuck a tarantula down the back of my shirt… But I guess fainting is kind of a big thing, cause this time there was an actual paramedic standing above me when I came to. 

Then I got escorted through the kitchen, with everyone watching me, to the ambulance outside. 

I might as well quit now. The HUMILIATION of being escorted out by 25 year-olds who thought they were signing up to actually rescue people… This was probably their most exciting call in a month, and I was the unwilling victim. 

Could someone resist a rescue? I hadn’t hit my head or anything. Just fell into a pile of old towels. 

But by the way the two guys (named Jerry and Will) yelled about protocol I doubted they’d let me off the hook that easily. They looked ready to treat me with an AED, put me on a ventilation machine, or sew up the scrape I had on my elbow from running into the oven.

“Just saw a creepy old guy is all…” I said with as much calm I could muster. 

“She might have hallucinations.” 

Calm left when I pictured myself sitting in a hospital bed for no obvious reason. I glimpsed my co-worker just a few feet behind me, joining his the onlookers. “ASHER! TELL THEM!” 

Asher just smirked from where he leaned next to the dishwasher. He yelped and jerked back when his elbow grazed the hot metal of the rim, which in turn made me laugh. 

I laughed way too hard. 

Oh boy did I sound crazy. 

After I was safely in the back of the ambulance, with Nicole – and either Simon or Simion, I couldn’t remember – the guy named Will took extra measures to ensure I was sitting in the correct position for a concussion. He was too tall and lanky to not bump into anything every five seconds, and with the five of us stuffed into the tiny compartment it was getting harder to appear calm and sane. (Especially after my maniacal cackling at Asher’s idiocy, which got me thinking I should report him to the paramedics, maybe they would forget about me and treat his burn.)  

I don’t like being stuffed in small places with four strangers. 

I don’t think anyone likes being stuffed into small spaces with any number of strangers. 

It’s awkward. 

And stuffy.

But there I was, stuffed in a small space with four strangers. 

Jerry checked my head for any gaping wounds, and when he found none gave me a tiny pat… On the head. 

Something about that just didn’t seem right.

“You’re good to go, squirt.” 

I choked on some air, my face getting as red as tomato sauce. I slid off the bed and tripped over a loose cord on the floor. 

Nicole caught my arm before I fell and half helped, half dragged me down the steps. Simion followed, talking to Will about presidents, and expenses, and office hours, or something like that. 

“How do you feel?” 

It was the one question the over-zealous medical students had failed to ask. 

“I’m okay, I think.” I cleared my throat, trying to will the embarrassment to leave my already humiliated expression. 

“You should probably go home.” Nicole offered matter-of-factly. 

And have to live down the endless teasing from my co-workers? “I’m good.” I itched the back of my ear. 

“You’re good?” Nicole raised both eyebrows. “No, I think you need to go home.” 

“How about you take your break, and if you feel like nothing’s wrong you can keep working?”

I kinda forgot Simion was behind me so I jumped and emitted a squeak when he started talking. There would be no end to the slow death of my last shred of dignity. I glanced sideways at him, wondering why on earth he sounded so… mature? Like he knew what to do in this situation… Definitely a Russian spy.  

“I think he’s right.” Nicole dragged me back inside. “I’ll get you something to drink…” 

Simion was scrambling to follow us before the door closed. 

“And give you something to eat…” 

Everybody stopped talking to watch my manager tug me into the breakroom. Asher looked slightly repentant when he saw my fate. 

I glared silently at him. 

“And you just rest up…” A girl I hadn’t seen before jumped out of her chair as Nicole yanked it out from under her, shoving me into it. 

I opened my mouth to protest.

Nicole walked around the table. “And put your feet up…” 

Another woman stood abruptly before Nicole could pull the chair out from under her. 

“And if you feel the slightest discomfort, you need to let me know so I can call your mother and send you home.” She set her hands on her hips, standing above me with a raised eyebrow. “Understood?” 

“Yes, ma’am.” I nodded a little too enthusiastically. 

After Nicole left to find me ‘sustenance’ the girls left at the table scowled, taking their lunches elsewhere and huddling together, whispers abounding. 

I proceeded to scowl as well, at my image reflected back at me in the long and ill-placed mirror.

This place had a knack for ill-placed mirrors. I always got to see myself at my least glamorous moment.

Sooooooo, what shall our heroine get herself into next? Drop a comment (or critique, if you wish), and tell me if you’d rather have an action-packed legal thriller, or you’re satisfied with Leticia’s antics. (OR, if you got carted into an ambulance your first day of work, tell us that story.) 😀

Until next time, y’all have a fantastic day!

Louise Taylor